Curtain Calls Key to Signing Holliday

All right, Cardinals fans. It’s up to us.

With no long term deal signed by Matt Holliday as a requirement of Friday’s trade from the Oakland A’s to St. Louis, apparently the onus is on our collective shoulders.

You see, Holliday will be an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season. So unless we – the greatest and most knowledgeable fans in the game of baseball – come through and win him over, heart and soul, we will have given away our last two number one draft picks (highly touted third baseman Brett Wallace and pitcher Clayton Mortensen) and another minor leaguer, Shane Peterson, for nothing.

Giving away three prospects for nothing would bother most normal people. Not Tony La Russa, mind you, but most normal people it would. Especially when we just gave away three prospects to Oakland for nothing a few years ago. You remember Mark Mulder don’t you?

Good thing nobody we gave the A’s that time turned out to be any good. Ahem…Dan Haren.

Holliday won’t come cheap either. He turned down a 4-year, $72 million extension while a member of the Colorado Rockies last year. Plus his agent is Scott Boras, not exactly the poster boy for charity.

Management has all but admitted that part of their plan for resigning Holliday is to win him over with the “St. Louis baseball experience.” This is similar to what happened to players like Mark McGwire and Scott Rolen.

The idea is that we fans use our down home Midwest charm and unwavering adoration to win Mr. Holliday over so that he’ll give us a “sweetheart deal” or “hometown discount” – whatever you want to call it – and stay with our beloved Cardinals for many seasons to come.

So, it’s with great pride that I present to you my can’t-miss idea for keeping Matt Holliday. You ready?

I’m proposing a curtain call after every at bat by Holliday for the rest of the season, starting with tomorrow night’s home stand against the division-leading Los Angeles Dodgers. Let’s show him that we love and adore him…even more than Tony already does!

Ground out to second…curtain call. Pop up to third…curtain call. Intentional walk…you better believe that’s a curtain call.

In fact, while we’re at it, let’s go ahead and add anything Holliday does on the field to the litany of curtain calls we bestow upon him!

Catch a fly ball…curtain call. Hit the cutoff man…curtain call. Swinging the bat in the on deck circle…oh man, is that ever a curtain call!

Even for clapping during another teammate’s curtain call? Yep, that requires a second curtain call.

With every curtain call we give Holliday, I’m sure Scott Boras will be happy to knock one percent off the asking price of Holliday’s eventual free agent contract.

In fact, I’ve actually done the math, and as impossible as it sounds, if we St. Louis fans give Holliday a curtain call for everything he does for the rest of the season, we’ll still fall well short of our season record for curtain calls given set in 2005…by almost 50!

So come on Cardinal fans, put down those $9 beers, get on your feet, and let’s give Holliday a warm St. Louis-style curtain call after everything he does for rest of the season!

After all, if we show him that we’ll do anything for him no matter what, he’s sure to respect us!

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3 Responses to Curtain Calls Key to Signing Holliday

  1. beals says:

    hindsight is 20/20. No one scoffed at the Mulder deal when it was made. I can’t blame mgmt. for trying to win now. There is no dominant team in the NL. Wallace may not have a position and has been called Jack Cust Jr. Mortensen is viewed as a 4th or 5th starter at best(although I would rather trot him out then Wellemeyer). Personally, I feel the onus is on mgmt to resign Holliday. If he plays well, and so far so good, then open the damn checkbook. Speaking of WellIsuckMeyer, why do we keep trotting him out there? Boggs has been pitching well at Memphis. Give him a shot. Wellemeyer should be DFA’d.

  2. beals says:

    Whoops! I didn’t read your proposed plan before I posted. I think we cardinal fans can “rise” to the occasion. To clarify, should we keep giving Derosa curtain calls as well or would that possibly undermine your plan by seeming somewhat superficial? Just lookin’ for clarification so I can bring my “A” game sat night.

  3. Grubb says:

    I didn’t scoff at the Mulder trade, but his terrible 2nd half numbers in 2004 made me a little concerned, and should have set off more red flags with the guys whose job it is to pay attention to such things. Plus, I said at the time that Haren looked really good in the ’04 playoffs, and better than any other pitcher during the Series sweep. Anyone with a brain could tell Haren had talent.

    I’m not against trading prospects for proven veterans. What I’m against is the TLR mentality that a veteran is ALWAYS better than a young talented player, and that you ALWAYS make the deal. If you want I can go down the list of recent deals or signings that haven’t worked out. The Holliday deal will also be a bust if A) we don’t win the World Series this year and B) we don’t resign him and win the World Series in the next couple years.

    I’m sure Tony thought Haren “needed more seasoning” and “wasn’t ready.” Which is why I value his opinion on young players like Wallace about as much as your butt. What do you expect him to say?

    Tony says he didn’t want to bring up Wallace because he “wasn’t ready.” Bullplop. Tony didn’t want to bring him up because he didn’t want him to do well and then he’d be stuck playing another dreaded rookie. He wanted to keep trotting Joe Thurston out there so he could force management’s hand by saying, “we’ve got nobody.” It’s the same M.O. he’s had for 14 years.

    You want to know why WellISuckMeyer is trotted out time after time and no one else is given a shot? Because of this mentality, that’s why.

    Tony says, “we’ve got no one else that can do the job.” To which I say, “how the hell would you know?”

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