All right, Cardinals fans. It’s up to us.
With no long term deal signed by Matt Holliday as a requirement of Friday’s trade from the Oakland A’s to St. Louis, apparently the onus is on our collective shoulders.
You see, Holliday will be an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season. So unless we – the greatest and most knowledgeable fans in the game of baseball – come through and win him over, heart and soul, we will have given away our last two number one draft picks (highly touted third baseman Brett Wallace and pitcher Clayton Mortensen) and another minor leaguer, Shane Peterson, for nothing.
Giving away three prospects for nothing would bother most normal people. Not Tony La Russa, mind you, but most normal people it would. Especially when we just gave away three prospects to Oakland for nothing a few years ago. You remember Mark Mulder don’t you?
Good thing nobody we gave the A’s that time turned out to be any good. Ahem…Dan Haren.
Holliday won’t come cheap either. He turned down a 4-year, $72 million extension while a member of the Colorado Rockies last year. Plus his agent is Scott Boras, not exactly the poster boy for charity.
Management has all but admitted that part of their plan for resigning Holliday is to win him over with the “St. Louis baseball experience.” This is similar to what happened to players like Mark McGwire and Scott Rolen.
The idea is that we fans use our down home Midwest charm and unwavering adoration to win Mr. Holliday over so that he’ll give us a “sweetheart deal” or “hometown discount” – whatever you want to call it – and stay with our beloved Cardinals for many seasons to come.
So, it’s with great pride that I present to you my can’t-miss idea for keeping Matt Holliday. You ready?
I’m proposing a curtain call after every at bat by Holliday for the rest of the season, starting with tomorrow night’s home stand against the division-leading Los Angeles Dodgers. Let’s show him that we love and adore him…even more than Tony already does!
Ground out to second…curtain call. Pop up to third…curtain call. Intentional walk…you better believe that’s a curtain call.
In fact, while we’re at it, let’s go ahead and add anything Holliday does on the field to the litany of curtain calls we bestow upon him!
Catch a fly ball…curtain call. Hit the cutoff man…curtain call. Swinging the bat in the on deck circle…oh man, is that ever a curtain call!
Even for clapping during another teammate’s curtain call? Yep, that requires a second curtain call.
With every curtain call we give Holliday, I’m sure Scott Boras will be happy to knock one percent off the asking price of Holliday’s eventual free agent contract.
In fact, I’ve actually done the math, and as impossible as it sounds, if we St. Louis fans give Holliday a curtain call for everything he does for the rest of the season, we’ll still fall well short of our season record for curtain calls given set in 2005…by almost 50!
So come on Cardinal fans, put down those $9 beers, get on your feet, and let’s give Holliday a warm St. Louis-style curtain call after everything he does for rest of the season!
After all, if we show him that we’ll do anything for him no matter what, he’s sure to respect us!