Vote Brendan Ryan for Mustached American of the Year

October 17, 2009

Cardinal fans, your season is over, and your team was swept like dust bunnies from the garage. It may be too late for the World Series, but it’s not too late to vote for Brendan Ryan as the 2009 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year.

Voting ends Tuesday, which means there’s only three days left. So get out and vote for the man whose dedication to the mustache has meant so much to the cause. And just between you and me, Ryan has a pretty good chance of winning this thing. But if he doesn’t the blame will be yours and yours alone for not voting, you heartless bastard.

Sure, it’s not as important as P. Diddy’s “Vote or Die.” But it’s also not as moronic and annoying. So just get over to that mustache web site and vote already!

And remember, a vote for Brendan Ryan is a vote for change.

Gotcha! We all know that’s a bunch of malarkey. Nothing’s going to change. I was just testing you.

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Don’t Take My Word For It

October 13, 2009

Today at Grubb Hub, we bring you a very special treat: A well-written article by someone else. However, its theme should be pleasantly familiar to the 2.5 loyal readers of this blog.

The article is entitled, “The Smartest Man in Baseball Is an Idiot.” It’s about – yep, you guessed it – Tony La Russa. Seriously, what gave it away?

It’s written by Charles P. Pierce of Esquire Magazine, and it points out many of the same things about La Russa that I’ve been yelling at my family members for years.

However, you’re also sure to learn something about everyone’s favorite genius that you didn’t know before. After reading it myself, I can’t help but wonder…what happened to the ballet school shirt?


Postseason Pressure Should Be on La Russa

October 10, 2009

As the Cardinals get ready to face a potential sweep at the hands of Los Angeles Dodgers, Cardinal fans as usual are distracted by the symptoms of the disease rather than the cause.

What’s the matter with Ryan Franklin?
How could Matt Holliday drop that ball?
Why can’t we score any stinking runs?

As usual, none of the criticism has been directed toward Cardinals manager Tony La Russa.  In fact, aside from the “The Kevin Slaten Show” aired weekdays at 2 p.m. on KSLG 1380 AM in St. Louis (which we highly recommend by the way), Grubb Hub is one of the few media outlets that actually puts Tony La Russa’s feet to the fire.

I can’t believe I just referred to my crappy blog as a “media outlet”. Maybe Buzz Bissinger was right.

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Now Was the Wrong Time to Bench Juice

October 10, 2009

Today should have been Juice’s Last Stand.

No, I’m not talking about the latest fledgling fruit drink franchise to be crushed by the heartless corporate shell Orange Julius. I mean Juice Williams, the embattled senior quarterback for the Fighting Illini football team.  Juice has been the poster boy for an Illini season that started so promising, and now conjures up what Illini fans hoped were long-forgotten nightmares of Tepper and Turner.

Illinois head coach Ron Zook made the call early this week:  Junior backup Eddie McGee would make his first career start under center, against the Michigan State Spartans and their evil, racist mascot Sparty.

This was the wrong call for a number of reasons.  First of all, Illinois finally gets to play a mediocre opponent at home.  Sure, the Illini and Juice have looked terrible in their three losses.  But for a moment, consider the opponents:  Missouri, Ohio State, and Penn State.  All three of those teams are currently ranked.  Ohio State and Penn State are both in the top 15. Only one of those games – last week’s 35-17 disappointment against the Nittany Lions – has been in the somewhat friendly, renovated confines of Memorial Stadium.

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