Grubb Bites for January 5, 2010: Big Ten Network Comes to St. Louis

January 5, 2010

We have something really special for you today. It’s called a blog post. No, actually it’s something we’re calling Grubb Bites.

We at Grubb Hub have decided that instead of always trying to stir up the motivation to polish off the proverbial 6-course meal in the form of writing full, feature-length articles (which clearly is not working, as evidenced by the lack of posts lately), we thought it might be fun to quickly go through some items of the day and offer our reaction in a more “bite-sized” or condensed form. So here goes nothing:

Charter Brings the Big Ten Network to Southern Illinois, St. Louis

Since its inception in 2006, I have spent many a night dreaming of what it would be like to have the Big Ten Network for my very own – to possess her, to hold her in my arms, to caress her slowly and softly; as she deserves to be caressed. To toss aside the cares of the world and just spend the day with her, watching her replays of games I’ve already seen again and again…and again and again.

But alas, it was not meant to be, for I had Charter Cable. And if it were not insufferable enough that I could not possess her for my own, too often I had borne witness to her flaunting herself in the arms of others – like a wanton and promiscuous whore!! Until it turned my stomach just to hear her name.

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Don’t Take My Word For It

October 13, 2009

Today at Grubb Hub, we bring you a very special treat: A well-written article by someone else. However, its theme should be pleasantly familiar to the 2.5 loyal readers of this blog.

The article is entitled, “The Smartest Man in Baseball Is an Idiot.” It’s about – yep, you guessed it – Tony La Russa. Seriously, what gave it away?

It’s written by Charles P. Pierce of Esquire Magazine, and it points out many of the same things about La Russa that I’ve been yelling at my family members for years.

However, you’re also sure to learn something about everyone’s favorite genius that you didn’t know before. After reading it myself, I can’t help but wonder…what happened to the ballet school shirt?

Postseason Pressure Should Be on La Russa

October 10, 2009

As the Cardinals get ready to face a potential sweep at the hands of Los Angeles Dodgers, Cardinal fans as usual are distracted by the symptoms of the disease rather than the cause.

What’s the matter with Ryan Franklin?
How could Matt Holliday drop that ball?
Why can’t we score any stinking runs?

As usual, none of the criticism has been directed toward Cardinals manager Tony La Russa.  In fact, aside from the “The Kevin Slaten Show” aired weekdays at 2 p.m. on KSLG 1380 AM in St. Louis (which we highly recommend by the way), Grubb Hub is one of the few media outlets that actually puts Tony La Russa’s feet to the fire.

I can’t believe I just referred to my crappy blog as a “media outlet”. Maybe Buzz Bissinger was right.

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The MLB All-Star Game: This Time it Counts…for Stupidity

July 28, 2009

Yes, the 2009 Major League Baseball All-Star Game and the surrounding festivities in St. Louis were a grand time enjoyed by all. Unless you happened to shell out $170 for a home run derby ticket in right field thinking you would have a chance at catching a ball…D’oh!

One exception might have been Albert Pujols, the poster boy for this year’s event. In the home run derby, Phat Albert needed some fan interference just to make it out of the first round. In the actual game, Albert went hitless and also made a very un-Albert like error at first base.

Then there was Stan Musial, who did get his moment in the national spotlight. And I do mean moment; the Musial “tribute” could not have been one millisecond longer. Anyone watching outside of Cardinal Nation would have learned virtually nothing about Musial, except that apparently he was some sort of really good player from the olden days that didn’t play for the Red Sox, Yankees, or some other big market coastal team, so who cares right?

Musial’s tribute was apparently cut short because Barack Obama was in the house. Yes, Barack Obama! Who gives a flying rat turd about Stan Musial? Barack Obama is here!

Oh, infallible leader-god, wilt thou grace us with thine presence? Thou wilt? Huzzah!!

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Curtain Calls Key to Signing Holliday

July 26, 2009

All right, Cardinals fans. It’s up to us.

With no long term deal signed by Matt Holliday as a requirement of Friday’s trade from the Oakland A’s to St. Louis, apparently the onus is on our collective shoulders.

You see, Holliday will be an unrestricted free agent at the end of the season. So unless we – the greatest and most knowledgeable fans in the game of baseball – come through and win him over, heart and soul, we will have given away our last two number one draft picks (highly touted third baseman Brett Wallace and pitcher Clayton Mortensen) and another minor leaguer, Shane Peterson, for nothing.

Giving away three prospects for nothing would bother most normal people. Not Tony La Russa, mind you, but most normal people it would. Especially when we just gave away three prospects to Oakland for nothing a few years ago. You remember Mark Mulder don’t you?

Good thing nobody we gave the A’s that time turned out to be any good. Ahem…Dan Haren.

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(Pitcher Batting) Eighth Is Enough

June 30, 2009

It was reported that one of the first questions asked of Cardinals general manager John Mozeliak during last Saturday’s press conference to announce the Mark DeRosa trade was essentially, “Okay, so we got DeRosa. What’s next?”

Which to those of us at Grubb Hub, begs the obvious question: Why can’t the St. Louis media grill Tony La Russa the way they do Mozeliak? Is it because Mozeliak has a generally nice disposition, and is at least tolerant of legitimate criticism?

This, of course, is in stark contrast to Ton E. La Russa: Super Genius, who grows as huffy as if he’d just had his third-favorite dog kicked the few times he’s actually questioned about his latest head-scratching move or lineup configuration.

Case in point: That same day, the Cardinals were leading the Minnesota Twins by the score of 5-3 in the bottom of the third inning – thanks once again to the super-human talents of Albert Pujols, who had homered his first two trips to the plate.

Relief pitcher Josh Kinney, who was batting in the eighth spot (*sigh*), came to the plate with the bases loaded and two outs.

Let’s toss aside the obvious point for the moment that if the pitcher wasn’t batting eighth (*sigh*), once again you would’ve had an actual hitter at the plate for this crucial at bat.

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Is Tony La Russa Insane?

June 19, 2009

The staff of Grubb Hub enjoyed its yearly company baseball outing at Busch Stadium 3-D last Wednesday night from one of the many posh luxury boxes available at the new stadium. And by staff I mean myself, and by posh luxury box I mean free right field bleacher tickets.

Anyhow, we noticed a peculiar set of stratagems employed by St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa during the bottom half of the sixth inning of Wednesday’s 4-3 triumph over the Detroit Tigers which we found quite perplexing to say the least.

Yadier Molina singled to lead off the inning on a sharp ground ball that pitcher Edwin Jackson deflected to third baseman Brandon Inge. As the Tigers are oft to do while in the Gateway City, Inge promptly chucked the ball into the stands, allowing Molina to advance to second.

So with Molina in scoring position and nobody out, third baseman Joe Thurston stepped to the plate. Now, mind you third base is typically a run-producing position. Ah, but Joe Thurston (.234, 1 HR, 18 RBI) is not your average third baseman. In fact, he is very much below average.

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Would You Platoon This Man?

April 15, 2009

Ryan Ludwick: All-Star Platoon Outfielder

His name is Ryan Ludwick. He also goes by the nickname “Studwick”. He’s an All-Star and a Silver Slugger Award winner. He hit .299 with 37 home runs and 113 RBI’s in 2008.

He plays outfield (occasionally) for the St. Louis Cardinals.

Think you’re smarter than Cardinals all-knowing, all-powerful, future hall of fame, super genius manager Tony La Russa? Well, you’re not. You’d play Ryan Ludwick every day, wouldn’t you?

Wouldn’t you, 89 year-old grandmother filling out a scorecard in the upper deck? Wouldn’t you, ever-so-delicious nachos supreme vendor? Wouldn’t you, five year-old whose father is taking him to his first-ever baseball game?

Wouldn’t you, foreign exchange student from Liechtenstein who has never heard of baseball before in his life?

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Don’t Boo Izringhauzen, Boo the Guy That Kept Putting Him In There

August 13, 2008

It has been over a week since Jason Izringhausen was last afforded the opportunity to come in and close out a win for the St. Louis Cardinals, and in the process inch himself ever closer to the illustrious 300-save mark. Yes, so illustrious that only 102 other guys have that many saves.

In that game, “Thin” Izzy was brought in to preserve a 5-2 lead in the ninth inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Always reliable Ron Villone had done his job, promptly giving up a home run to a struggling Andruw Jones.

What? Isn’t that the lefty specialist Villone’s job? To come in for one batter and give up a home run – in this case Jones’ first since spring training? Well, maybe it just seems that way.

Anyhow, back to Izringhausen. Much to the wondering eyes of the 40,773 in attendance should appear, was another blown save and a whole lot of spilled beer.

And then out on the field, there arose such a clatter. There were boos and cursing as if something was the matter. So Tony La Russa sprang from the dugout before Izzy could face another batter.

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Miss Cleo Predicts: Mulder Will Never Again Pitch as a Starter (Effectively) for the Cardinals

July 8, 2008

On June 30th, Mark Mulder made his triumphant return to the mound for the St. Louis Cardinals. Unlike the previous 202 major league appearances in his career, this one was as a reliever, tossing a scoreless inning in closing out a 7-1 victory over the New York Mets.

Two days later, Mulder pitched again. This time it ended with different results, yielding two runs on as many hits while recording only one out. Technically speaking, it was also a blown save – albeit in the seventh inning. But the Cardinals rallied to win the game 8-7 over the same Mets.

On the basis of these two superlative outings, Mulder will be handed the ball as the starter for tonight’s contest against the Philadelphia Phillies for the first time since a triumvirate of trouncings late in the 2007 campaign.

See you later, Mitchell Boggs. And please, take your 3-0 record and your 95-plus mile per hour fastball with movement with you.

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