Denver Bronco Fans Starved for Halftime Entertainment

December 30, 2011

Admittedly, it can get kind of boring if you’re a Denver Broncos fan waiting around three-and-a-half quarters for Tebow Time to come (for a definition of Tebow Time, see this article).

Maybe that’s why the events coordinator at Sports Authority Field at Mile High (that name just rolls off the tongue) has been trying to spruce up the halftime show, to help fill the void between the opening kickoff and the last five minutes of the game.

When you’ve scored just 22 points in the first half of your last four home games, any kind of action is a welcome occurrence:

Monkey Rides Horse at Denver Broncos Game

No, it’s not a live-action representation of Tebow’s understanding of Darwinism. Nor is it one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in an all-animal halftime production of The Book of Revelation. It’s just a good, old-fashioned monkey riding a horse.

I guess if Tim Tebow can pass for a legitimate NFL quarterback in Denver, this can pass for halftime entertainment. But hey, at least Bronco fans weren’t treated to this:

Apparently, the joke here is that NFL Network commentator Michael Irvin loves Tim Tebow. Judging by the awkward gyrations he’s making, I’d say he loves that horse more. Maybe that’s why he’s riding it more like a cocaine-fueled hooker from his Dallas Cowboy playing days than a children’s toy.

Let’s just hope that if the Broncos happen to play on NFL Network next year, Irvin leaves his horse in the stable. Either that or he learns to ride the thing without sodomizing it.

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Michael Grubb is a (semi) regular contributor to Team JSF. When he’s not training monkeys to re-enact the movie “The Ten Commandments”, he can be reached at:

@GrubbHub
GrubbHub.net
grubbhub@gmail.com

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Grubb Bites for January 5, 2010: Big Ten Network Comes to St. Louis

January 5, 2010

We have something really special for you today. It’s called a blog post. No, actually it’s something we’re calling Grubb Bites.

We at Grubb Hub have decided that instead of always trying to stir up the motivation to polish off the proverbial 6-course meal in the form of writing full, feature-length articles (which clearly is not working, as evidenced by the lack of posts lately), we thought it might be fun to quickly go through some items of the day and offer our reaction in a more “bite-sized” or condensed form. So here goes nothing:

Charter Brings the Big Ten Network to Southern Illinois, St. Louis

Since its inception in 2006, I have spent many a night dreaming of what it would be like to have the Big Ten Network for my very own – to possess her, to hold her in my arms, to caress her slowly and softly; as she deserves to be caressed. To toss aside the cares of the world and just spend the day with her, watching her replays of games I’ve already seen again and again…and again and again.

But alas, it was not meant to be, for I had Charter Cable. And if it were not insufferable enough that I could not possess her for my own, too often I had borne witness to her flaunting herself in the arms of others – like a wanton and promiscuous whore!! Until it turned my stomach just to hear her name.

get more Grubb…