These Mustaches…Are Making Me Thirsty!!

August 21, 2008

“Friends, Romans, countrymen…lend me your rears.”

Yes, if you enjoyed that spot of thespianism you might want to check out this little piece of web theatre (notice how “theater” is spelled the classy way – that means it’s good).

In it, yours truly portrays a workaholic, chain-smoking news reporter (with a mustache) going through a bitter divorce that somehow manages to uncover the real truth behind the origins of the American Mustache Association (and promptly flubs his one line in doing so by mispronouncing the guy’s name that runs the damn thing).

This scintillating video was to promote the upcoming ‘Stache Bash 2008, the coup de grâce (or cup of grass if you’re stupid) of the mustache community calendar.

If you’d like to see more videos starring the good pirate doctor, you can click on that link I just put back there. Or go to You Tube and search for it yourself. I don’t really care.

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3 Comments | American Mustache Institute, Masturdpiece Theater | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by Grubb

Owner of a Lonely Mustache

August 17, 2008

If you’re mustached, non-mustached, or otherwise and struggling to find that special someone, you might want to check out this helpful post, brought to you by the friendly folks at the American Mustache Institute, entitled How to Get a Date.

How to Get a Date

When you’re nearly middle-aged, hopelessly single, tragically bare-lipped, and sadly spend more of your free time writing on mustache blogs than on dates, you’ll take all the advice on meeting the ladies you can get.

If you’re like me, and every day that slips through your fingers makes you grow incrementally fearful of dying alone in a bed of some wretched government nursing home in a pile of your own filth, having no one to attend your funeral, and being buried in a cheap pine box deep within an abandoned coal mine, you might want to check out the following helpful pointers on meeting that special someone to share your life with.

They’re brought to you by the fabulous “Foxy Life” gals Elycia Rubin and Rita Mauceri. You remember them, don’t you? Their blog, which focuses on a variety of subjects from social trends to the culinary arts, is emerging as must-read material for the inherently barbarian male, mustached or otherwise.

Their piece below, entitled 5 Ways to Amp Up Your Single Sex Appeal, offers some helpful tips on how to attract that special someone (and cling onto them for dear life).

get more Grubb…

2 Comments | American Mustache Institute, The Grubbion | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by Grubb

Don’t Boo Izringhauzen, Boo the Guy That Kept Putting Him In There

August 13, 2008

It has been over a week since Jason Izringhausen was last afforded the opportunity to come in and close out a win for the St. Louis Cardinals, and in the process inch himself ever closer to the illustrious 300-save mark. Yes, so illustrious that only 102 other guys have that many saves.

In that game, “Thin” Izzy was brought in to preserve a 5-2 lead in the ninth inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers. Always reliable Ron Villone had done his job, promptly giving up a home run to a struggling Andruw Jones.

What? Isn’t that the lefty specialist Villone’s job? To come in for one batter and give up a home run – in this case Jones’ first since spring training? Well, maybe it just seems that way.

Anyhow, back to Izringhausen. Much to the wondering eyes of the 40,773 in attendance should appear, was another blown save and a whole lot of spilled beer.

And then out on the field, there arose such a clatter. There were boos and cursing as if something was the matter. So Tony La Russa sprang from the dugout before Izzy could face another batter.

Get more Grubb…

2 Comments | St. Louis Cardinals | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by Grubb

Pujols Home Run Derby Snub Makes No Sense

August 10, 2008

In the weeks leading up to the 2008 All-Star game in New York City, Albert Pujols was all but openly campaigning for a spot on the Home Run Derby. He’s been quoted as saying he enjoys the contest and would love to take part in it.

Normally it works the other way around. What usually happens is a slugger with the star power the likes of Pujols participates in the home run derby a time or two and then decides it’s not worth his time, that he’d rather spend his All-Star break time loafing or “visiting with his family”.

But here you have, arguably the greatest slugger in the game today, openly expressing his desire to partake in the home run derby, and the response from Major League Baseball is apparently…thanks, but no thanks.

Huh?

Read more…

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Posted by Grubb