I Feel Like A Chicken Tonight

In the spirit of shameless attempts at self-promotion (self-degradation?) involving chicken, we at Grubb Hub not-so-proudly present the following short, independent film. It’s once again brought to you by our associates at the American Mustache Institute – as part of their ‘Stache Scale Analysis series that samples and rates products from the Mustached American perspective.

This time out, the AMI turns its attention to Hardee’s new hand-breaded Chicken Tenders, and examines whether or not they can cut the honey mustard with regard to the competition.

In addition to the doctor sporting the night club velvet rope ‘stache, this video also stars a real, live chicken. No, it’s not the San Diego Chicken, Chicken Little, or even Colonel Sanders. Those guys are all too expensive (or too dead).

Instead, it’s Chris P. Chicken, who besides apparently being blind also has a voice that bears a striking resemblance to a mumbling, retarded Australian. Oi.

The result of our little chicken challenge? Despite not having taste buds, Chris P. overwhelmingly preferred Hardee’s to the competition. But don’t take an idiot in a fifty-dollar chicken suit’s muffled word for it: In addition to being popular with the mustached crowd, subsequent focus groups have shown that four out of five fat guys prefer Hardee’s new hand-breaded Chicken Tenders over the leading brand of fried, boneless, chicken-based polygon.

And remember, only at Hardee’s can you get something that sounds as appetizing as creamy buffalo sauce to go with your Chicken Tenders. So get up to that counter and order yourself up a hand-breaded batch today!

And when the person working at that counter inevitably can’t understand what you just said, order it again!


7 Responses to I Feel Like A Chicken Tonight

  1. The Rube says:

    Holy Mary Mother of God…..I thought Grubb Hub had died and gone to BLOG hell! Nice to see you didn’t let the man keep you down Mike! Good to know you still have the sack to get back up on that horse. You know its times like this that give every American that little shiver up their spine and make them proud to be an American! Where at least they know their free….and they won’t…..ok off a bit there, but seriously, for those of us “busy work day challenged” Grubb Hub could be a good time waster for us! Keep ’em coming Grubb!

    • Grubb says:

      You have inspired me, Rube. If I can waste just one person’s time with each post, then it’s all worth it. The ability to waste time is, after all, one of my biggest strengths.

      • The Rube says:

        Agreed Grub…I’ve now wasted the better part of my Thursday reading your blog and posting so very uniteresting things!

  2. MC says:

    Any news on when/where this year’s ‘Stache Bash will take place???

    • Grubb says:

      Nothing has been decided for certain. Rumors of this year’s locale have been swirling about, however, as an unpaid internet blogger (unless you count Chicken Tenders) I cannot disclose any potential whereabouts without facts that can be corroborated by at least two sources. As soon as this evidence can be ascertained, I will let you know.

    • Grubb says:

      MC, ‘Stache Bash will be Saturday, December 4th. I’m told it will most likely be at Al Hrabosky’s.

  3. […] Mascots Vie for Coveted Title, Credit Card Reward Points Although our allegiances lie with a school that is unfortunately mascot-challenged (that being the University of Illinois), the staff at Grubb Hub has never been afraid to take on the tough issues regarding collegiate mascots. We also have some experience dressing up like barnyard animals ourselves. […]

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