Nominate, Try Not to Hate, Love Your Mate

Do you know what a mustache is? Even better…do you know someone with a mustache? Well, then get out to the American Mustache Institute website and nominate that person for the 2010 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year.

Go ahead, nominate whoever you want. It could be anyone…a teacher, a preacher, a project manager, a woman, a community organizer, someone with a real job…even you! (Seriously, don’t nominate yourself, you self-serving ass.)

Nominate as many times as you like. Nominate until you sprain something. Nominate until you’re about to collapse from exhaustion. Nominate until you’ve been fired from your job, and your wife and children have left you because you just won’t get up from the computer. It really doesn’t matter because the vast majority of your nominations will be ignored! Ignored, I tell you!

Of course I’m kidding. The truth is each nomination is carefully scrutinized by a team of trained nomination experts. Only the freshest and juiciest nominations, hand-picked by migrant workers and carried on foot to our production facility in Ripon, Wisconsin, will be good enough to make the final cut.

The award—handed out at the annual ‘Stache Bash slated for Saturday, December 4th, 2010 in St. Louis, Missouri—recognizes the person or human clone who has best represented, contributed, or has just not done any irreparable damage to the Mustached American community during the past year.

Nominations will only be accepted until Friday, October 8th. After that, you’re Shiite out of luck, Muganda. So put your nominatin’ boots on and get crackin’!


2 Responses to Nominate, Try Not to Hate, Love Your Mate

  1. The Rube says:

    The Rube nominates…….My 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Leonard!!! Not sure she able to be nominated as I’m not sure she’s still alive, she taught 3rd grade to Jesus’ older step sisters! But I do remember she had a sweet stache back in 3rd grade and man if she hasn’t shave since then…..we’re talking EPIC HANDLE BARS, like 3 feet high and rising!!!

  2. The Rube says:

    The Rube will also nominate that pre-pubescent Jack Wagon for Toronto who had to paint his mustache on with eye black as a tip to his out going manager….sheesh if you can’t grow one borrow some armpit hair from one of the steroid using clowns in the Blue Jays lockerroom. They have extra for sure. Good thing nobody cares what goes on in Tornonto, all those HR’s will be forgotten in about 3 days and nobody will ever care again…..ever…..

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