Trump Practices Driving Indy 500 Pace Car

Last week Donald Trump was selected to drive the pace car for the Indianapolis 500. Trump will lead the field of drivers for year’s 100th anniversary race in a 2011 Chevrolet Camaro Convertible.

That’s right, a convertible. This for the man notorious for having the world’s worst comb over. Under normal circumstances, billionaires and convertible sports cars go together like Gary Busey and scaring small children.

But when you’ve got a hairdo shaped like a Dairy Queen sundae, this presents a problem.

Before you start thinking this whole thing has disaster written all over it, keep in mind Trump is treating the assignment very seriously. According to reports, he’s been preparing for the May 29th event by taking numerous practice laps around Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

In a JSF exclusive, our crack staff has obtained aerial photos of the Donald squaring off against his arch nemesis, the convertible; and to a lesser extent, wind.

This first photo exclusive shows Trump as he starts to pick up some speed. At this point, the ten freakishly long hairs on his head are still holding up fairly well.

Unfortunately, it’s just the start of his practice run. As the driver of the official pace car of the Indianapolis 500, the real estate mogul and star of NBC‘s “Celebrity Apprentice” can expect to reach speeds of up to 140 miles per hour.

This can create what is known as a “wind tunnel” effect, a condition where winds swirl at a very high velocity, essentially forming a cyclone.

At extremely high speeds of over 200 miles per hour, commonly referred to in the industry as ludicrous speed, metabolic changes to the hair can occur, causing strange and often unpredictable side effects.

No matter what happens though, you can be sure that daughter Ivanka and son Donald Jr. will be at their father’s side, nodding incessantly in approval to everything he says or does.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: