Snail Mail Makes Big Comeback with NFL Lotharios

July 8, 2011

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Roy Williams made headlines this week when it was revealed that he mailed a $76,000 engagement ring, along with a pre-recorded marriage proposal, to a former Texas beauty pageant winner.

Although difficult to understand why that didn’t turn out so well, it hasn’t stopped the idea of using snail mail to make advances toward women from making a big comeback in the NFL.

Yes, it seems the ongoing lockout and looming work stoppage isn’t the only thing taking us back to 1987.  One of the primary advantages of snail mail (or “the mail” as it used to be called) is that it makes it much more difficult to have your indiscretions immediately plastered all over the internet.

That is unless JSF happens to get a hold of it. Enter Brett Favre, who learned his lesson after getting caught using a cell phone to leave voice mails and send lewd photos to sideline reporter Jenn Sterger.

That lesson? No more smartphones. All you need to creepily stalk women is paper, a pencil, and a Polariod:

Favre Letter to Mistress

What’s amazing is how Favre managed to top Williams on the immaturity scale, with his proposition straight out of fifth grade.  Regardless, the informational caption on the Polaroid was a nice touch.

But Williams and Favre aren’t alone. New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan found some time to slip out and do some shopping when he was supposed to be hunkered down in a war room at this year’s NFL draft.

Rex Ryan's High Heel

Apparently he couldn’t wait to share his shopping conquest with his wife, so he had them shipped overnight. Which is just one more advantage of traditional mail, namely, you can’t fit size nine wides in an e-mail.