Death Wish 3: A Mustached Masturdpiece

Yes, Death Wish 3 – the third chapter in the famous franchise starring Charles Bronson – contains all the essential elements of a fine feature film: Angry mustached old dudes, bazookas to the face, giggling purse-snatchers, multicultural gangs, reverse mohawks, love for arithmetic, and people falling out of buildings. What more could a person ask for?

Did someone say mustaches? Well, that’s all that’s required for the American Mustache Institute to review a 24 year-old movie.

Even if you don’t have time to read the review because of your damn go-go lifestyle with your fancy McDonald’s lattes and your high-speed dial-up internet and your Bluetooth headpiece that makes everyone want to punch you in the face, at least take the time to view this Death Wish 3 montage of people falling out of buildings. It’s the least you can do; I spent way too much time on it for nobody to watch it.


2 Responses to Death Wish 3: A Mustached Masturdpiece

  1. Scott says:

    How did you know about my new bluetooth? And what’s wrong with a McLatte? The McLatte can be a life saver in some of your more cess-ridden backwoods midwest burgs…

  2. The artist formerly known as "The Rube" says:

    I agree Master Grubb. Death to all Blue-Tooth users. To be honest I don’t know that I’d piss in someones mouth if their teeth were on fire if they had one of those things in their ear!!!

    As far as Mr. Beemsville goes, I’ll give him a pass on it for now as he’s only had a cell phone for about a week now even though his own dear sister hasn’t had a land line in 4 years!

    As far as the Mustached Masturdpiece….man who doesn’t love arithmatic!

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