Spring training is officially underway this week, accompanied by the usual in-depth reports on all 30 major league clubs.
Can the Kansas City Royals go all the way? Will the Pittsburgh Pirates dominate the NL Central? Are the Yankees really the worst team in the league? Now is the time to get the skinny on your favorite team.
USA Today has decided to focus on the Milwaukee Brewers this spring, in a periodic series that goes behind the scenes to learn more about the team and its lofty expectations for the coming season.
Apparently there was a lot for USA Today to learn about the Brewers, like their team nickname refers to people that make beer, for instance. The excitement of this realization proved too much for them to handle.
In this week’s very first article in the series, the USA Today headline writers exploded in a drunken orgy of beer references, starting with the main headline, “Brewers believe in recipe.”
These particular headline writers simply did not know when to say when. There are five references to beer or beer making in this first cover story alone, from “new ingredients on roster” to “orientation day is strange brew” to describing the team as “stocked.”
If this trend continues, what sort of headlines might we see in future editions of the series? Here are some thoughts on how the season might unfold:
-Brewers Enjoy Flavor of Successful Spring
-Brewers Enter Regular Season With Winning Formula
-Brewers Pour It On Against First-Place Pirates
-NL Central-Leading Pirates Back on the Wagon With Win Over Brewers
-Brewers Show Signs of Hangover from Yesterday’s Loss
-Brewers Go on Month-Long Losing Bender
-Expiration Date on Milwaukee’s Playoff Chances Looms
-Brewers’ Season Officially On the Rocks
-Pirates Beat Brewers Like Alcoholic Stepdad Beats Ungrateful Stepchildren
-Fans of Brewers Vomit on Selves, Experience Remorse
-Billy Brewer Charged With Public Intoxication, Indecent Exposure at Water Park
-Billy Brewer Banned for Life From Wisconsin Dells
-Ill-Fated Sausage Race Ends In Carnage
-Alcohol Makes Headline Writers Stupid, Suffer From Dementia, Experts Say