As Usual, Elway Saves the Best for Last

March 19, 2008

Originally published in the Daily Union (Shelbyville, IL) on February 2, 1999:

With as many pigskin prognosticators picking the Falcons in last Sunday’s Super Bowl as there were, one might have had the impression that they were the defending champions.

That’s just par for the course for the Denver Broncos, whose resounding losses during the franchise’s first four trips to the Super Bowl sadly earned them more disrespect than anything else.

Last year, most predicted the ever-glorious Packers, led by Brett Favrvrvrvre, would mop the field with John Elway’s head.

This year, the Falcons were supposed to hang in there ’til the final moments, with a chance to steal away a victory at the end.

Instead, Elway made the famed “Dirty Birds” look more like the “Diseased Pigeons”.

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Nagin Voted Most Vagina Friendly, Craig Nabs Similar Award Among Penises

March 19, 2008

While welcoming Eve Ensler, author of the famous “Vagina Monologues” play, at a news conference to promote the upcoming “V-Day” celebration in New Orléans, the city’s mayor Ray Nagin proudly proclaimed himself to be a “vagina-friendly mayor”.

“I am in,” said Nagin about vaginas at the event. “When it comes to vaginas, that is. I am definitely in.”

Mayor Ray Nagin eats a piece of pie - AP File Photo

Mayor Ray Nagin eats a piece of pie - AP File Photo

As it turns out, even Mayor Nagin did not realize just exactly how far in he really was. That’s because recently Nagin was bestowed the honor of America’s “Most Vagina-Friendly Politician” of 2007 by an organization known as the Voices of the United League of Vaginas of America, or V.U.L.V.A., which hands out the award each year to the most vagina-friendly politician based on a variety of factors.

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