Boy, It’s Been More Boring Than Presidential Debate Around Here Lately

October 19, 2008

Admittedly, not much has happened on the Hub lately. In fact, nothing has happened for nearly two months.

Speaking of nothing happening, did any of you catch the final 2008 presidential debate last Wednesday night? It’s too bad one of the major crises facing our country isn’t insomnia. At least then we could be reasonably confident that these guys would be able to solve one problem.

Unfortunately, there are far more important things facing our country. And as with so many important issues of our day, if we would only look to the mustache, we will find the answer. In this respect, I humbly submit for your perusal a list of suggestions for spicing up the presidential debates the next time around, brought to you by your follicled friends at the American Mustache Institute.

5 Comments | American Mustache Institute | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by Grubb

These Mustaches…Are Making Me Thirsty!!

August 21, 2008

“Friends, Romans, countrymen…lend me your rears.”

Yes, if you enjoyed that spot of thespianism you might want to check out this little piece of web theatre (notice how “theater” is spelled the classy way – that means it’s good).

In it, yours truly portrays a workaholic, chain-smoking news reporter (with a mustache) going through a bitter divorce that somehow manages to uncover the real truth behind the origins of the American Mustache Association (and promptly flubs his one line in doing so by mispronouncing the guy’s name that runs the damn thing).

This scintillating video was to promote the upcoming ‘Stache Bash 2008, the coup de grâce (or cup of grass if you’re stupid) of the mustache community calendar.

If you’d like to see more videos starring the good pirate doctor, you can click on that link I just put back there. Or go to You Tube and search for it yourself. I don’t really care.

3 Comments | American Mustache Institute, Masturdpiece Theater | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by Grubb

Owner of a Lonely Mustache

August 17, 2008

If you’re mustached, non-mustached, or otherwise and struggling to find that special someone, you might want to check out this helpful post, brought to you by the friendly folks at the American Mustache Institute, entitled How to Get a Date.

How to Get a Date

When you’re nearly middle-aged, hopelessly single, tragically bare-lipped, and sadly spend more of your free time writing on mustache blogs than on dates, you’ll take all the advice on meeting the ladies you can get.

If you’re like me, and every day that slips through your fingers makes you grow incrementally fearful of dying alone in a bed of some wretched government nursing home in a pile of your own filth, having no one to attend your funeral, and being buried in a cheap pine box deep within an abandoned coal mine, you might want to check out the following helpful pointers on meeting that special someone to share your life with.

They’re brought to you by the fabulous “Foxy Life” gals Elycia Rubin and Rita Mauceri. You remember them, don’t you? Their blog, which focuses on a variety of subjects from social trends to the culinary arts, is emerging as must-read material for the inherently barbarian male, mustached or otherwise.

Their piece below, entitled 5 Ways to Amp Up Your Single Sex Appeal, offers some helpful tips on how to attract that special someone (and cling onto them for dear life).

get more Grubb…

2 Comments | American Mustache Institute, The Grubbion | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by Grubb

That’s the Power of Mustaches

July 15, 2008

Of course, Huey Lewis and the News were singing about love. But they could have very well been singing about the recent exploits of New York Yankees slugger Jason Giambi, who has certainly felt the power of the mustache this season, narrowly missing out on becoming an American League All-Star.

This post, written for the American Mustache Institute, ponders the question of whether or not the mustache will catch on as the new performance-enhancing substance of choice in Major League Baseball. After seeing Giambi’s success, will other players “Want a New Drug?”

New Performance Enhancer Poised to Take Over Baseball?

In the wake of the longstanding steroids scandal surrounding Major League Baseball, any talk of performance enhancing substances is sure to make most fans a little squeamish.

Don’t worry though. The steroid monster is not rearing its ugly head again. And there hasn’t been any new revelations linking another player to Human Growth Hormone (HGH).  Amphetamines, once prevalent in the game long ago, aren’t making a comeback either.

No, instead we may be witnessing the early stages of the emergence of a performance-enhancing substance so powerful, so potent, and so virile that it makes all of the above look like Flinstone’s Vitamins.

Of course, I’m talking about the mustache.

get more Grubb…

Leave a Comment » | American Mustache Institute, Sports General | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Grubb

Have Mustache, Will Travel

June 19, 2008

Recently, your humble correspondent was invited to write on another blog. No doubt this is a result of the overwhelming hilarity and poignancy of this blog, which all three of our loyal readers (whom we love and appreciate so much) have come to expect. And I must say, it’s high time we started getting noticed. So look out world, here we come!

It’s called the American Mustache Institute, and it is dedicated to “protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans”. As a son of a mustached American, it’s a cause that has a special place in my heart. Actually, it’s a web site geared toward stuff that interests guys. Things like sports, music, beer, mustaches, and women. Things this perpetual bachelor knows a thing or two about (except the last one, of course).

The AMI blog also has at least thrice the readership of this blog (3 x 3 = 9), so in that sense it’s a big step up. So I guess I better be on my game, or I’ll be banished back to this crappy blog. Stupid life.

Fear not, I’ll still be posting stuff here. And I’ll always make a post here and provide a link to anything I write on AMI. So please continue to make Grubb Hub your one-stop shop for a stupid article every three weeks.

Until then, I hope you enjoy the début of the “biggrubbowski” (my blog handle) on the American Mustache Institute, a post entitled Kobe Hogs Ball, Celebs Hog Camera at 2008 NBA Finals.

Kobe Hogs Ball, Celebs Hog Camera at 2008 NBA Finals

On Tuesday night, the Boston Celtics whipped up on the Los Angeles Lakers 131-92, bringing an anticlimactic close to the much-hyped rematch some 21 years in the making.

Not even 472 shots by Kobe Bryant could prolong the series between two of the NBA’s most storied franchises which – more than any in recent memory – was chock full of history and hoopla, pomp and circumstance, peanut butter and jelly.

Oh, and one more thing…celebrities.

get more Grubb…

4 Comments | American Mustache Institute, Sports General | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Grubb

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